Losing A Beloved Pet [Trigger Warning]

 There's something missing in my home,

I feel it day and night,

I know it will take time and strength,

Before things feel quite right.

But just for now, I need to mourn,

My heart-- it needs to mend,

Though some may say 'it's just a pet'

I know I've lost a friend.

You've brought such laughter to my home,

And richness to my days...

A constant friend through joy or loss,

With gentle loving ways.

Companion, pal, and confidante,

A friend I won't forget,

You'll live for always in my heart,

My sweet forever pet.

RIP Enrique
9/7/07-10/3/16

My apologies to anyone who actually follows my posts, I had to take a short hiatus. A lot of things were happening to my family at once, the hardest of which being the loss of our dog, my first baby, to cancer. We had no idea that he even had it until it reared it's ugly head and rendered him blind, deaf, and imobile in less than 24 hours. It was a very traumatic experience for me and even two and a half weeks after his death I still find myself expecting him to be places he is isn't (and then crying for him all over again).

It really is like John Green says in The Fault In Our Stars:
"There's no way of knowing that your last good day is your Last Good Day.

At the time, it is just another good day."

I gave Enrique a bath, he ran around like a psycho trying to dry off, the kids laughed. He probably did something to make me yell at him later, or I might have kicked him out of my bed because he was laying on my pillow; I don't remember. The day was so normal and uneventful and yet, that was our last good day with him. And I am stuck with the guilt that I may have taken that day, and him, for granted.

On Enrique's first day with us we wrapped him up in a blanket and carried him like a baby. It only felt appropriate to spend his last the same way. ❤

Our kids responded a lot better than I thought they would. While Jonathin (3) slept on his dad's lap throughout the entire procedure, Sophia (5) didn't seem to understand what was going on until I laid the dog on the table. I started crying and she asked if I was sad for Enrique. I told her yes because he's sick. She sounded a little emotional as she began to rub his head and tell him that it was ok and not to be sad. I told her that Enrique was going to 'go sleepy', and that he wasn't going to come home with us.

"Yeah..." she said, sadly. Then, "Mommy, I want a cat!". 😐😑
So don't worry, she's fine. She won't need therapy for this later in life.

If you ever have to have a pet put to sleep, and I sincerely hope that you don't, I cannot recommend enough that you take them up on the offer to do a memorial footprint. We were pretty tight on money at the time, and the euthanasia and cremation already cost upwards of $100 (and we went to a cheap clinic) but I decided to say yes when asked if I wanted to buy an imprint of his paw for $15 more. I ALMOST said no, but then I decided that I'd rather regret spending $15 that I could easily earn again, instead of not creating this memory that can't be done later.

When they called us a few days later to pick it up I was amazed by how nice they made this for us. It is so much more than I ever thought it would be. I didn't think it would be this cute, and I NEVER expected they would add his name to it! I am still so very happy with my decision, and highly recommend getting one made of your pets' little paws. 🐾

2012 & 2014

Enrique has always loved snow. I'm glad he and Jonathin got to share this moment (and the proceeding wipeout as they tried to cut that corner to fast) during our last snow of last year.
 

First snow and last snow.❄

This was a joke, but I swear he's acting like he can read.

"Privacy? What's that, mom?"

While waiting for our appointment at the vet's office, I laid on the bathroom floor with Enrique and pet him. By this point he couldn't see or hear, but I held my hand in front of his nose so he could (hopefully) smell me.